It would have worked out just fine if it hadn’t been for me getting pregnant. I was so stupid; I can’t believe it really happened. I wished it was a dream or just a cruel joke, but it was real. This bump on my stomach is totally real. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m a fourteen year old girl that had sex one time, and I ended up with a baby.

It all started about a month ago, I was at a party with my friend Harmony and there was this cute guy that had been looking over at me all night.

“Harmony just go talk to him”, said Harmony.

So I did. His name was Justin, tall cute and seventeen. Nice, almost three years older then me but he didn’t know that, and I kept it that way.

When we got back to his place I started to feel a bit dizzy.  

“Do you have somewhere I could lay down, I’m not feeling so good.”

 “Yeah, you can go lay down on my bed follow me.”

Of course the dizzy thing was just a lie. I just wanted to get him to the bed. I lay down on the bed and then Justin lay down with me, he started rubbing my arm and asking me if I felt better. We started kissing and then he asked me how many people I’ve had sex with.

“I’ve only had sex a couple times”, I lied.

He assumed I wasn’t a virgin so I let him believe it.

I did feel a little sick in the morning, but I blamed that on the Heny, just a hangover.  I looked over,

 “Oh my god”,

 I tried to talk to him, well I thought about it, but instead I just got dressed quickly and went home. I was so embarrassed, I can’t believe I was so stupid enough to lose my virginity to a guy a barely knew. The worst part is he didn’t even wear a condom. When I got home I ran straight upstairs to my room. I laid on my bed and thought about what happened. I decided just to forget about it and act like nothing ever happened.                       The next couple weeks went by quickly, but then I realized my period never came. It was a week and a half late! After school I went to the drugstore and picked out a test and slid it in my sweatshirt. I snuck it out of the store and ran home, I ran straight up to the bathroom and looked the door. I pee on the stick and waited, I swear that was the longest minute of my life, but what I found out wasn’t too satisfying. I was pregnant. Those two lines made my heart stop, and my throat got real dry.

I began to cry, I didn’t know how to react or how I was going to tell anyone. Someone started to knock on the door.

“Who is it?”, I said emotional as ever.

 “It’s your mom, can I come in?”

I didn’t really know what to say so I just walked to the door unlocked it and said,

“Come in.”

 She noticed right away that something was wrong she wrapped her arms around me as she closed the door.

“Honey I think I know what’s wrong.”

I looked at her, the tears rolling down my face; I had no control over them.

“Y you do, but how?”

 She looked at me and smiled;

 “I’m your mom sweetie, and plus how could I not you left the pregnancy test box in the bathroom.” 

I let out a small laugh and began to cry more.

“Why me, why did I have to be so stupid? I don’t even know the guys last name.” “I still love you honey, we all make mistakes, it will all be fine, I promise.”

“If things don’t work out, I will be there for you no matter what, so things happen in life that we don’t want to happen, but you learn from it. So what’s the guys name? Are you going to tell him about it? You can’t just hide it, people are going to find out soon enough. Well whatever you do I hope you make the right choice.”

Through all my mom’s concerns, cares, whatever all I wanted her to do was shut up so I could think. I just said

“I love you too,”

and walked away. I stopped thinking about my mom’s so called

“Words of Wisdom.”

It was four o’ clock the next day and I was feeling so stressed that I decided to call up some old friends. I got to there house and I was only going to smoke weed because I didn’t think it would hurt, and it didn’t until I’d smoked so much that I had really bad cotton mouth and the only thing in the fridge to drink was beer.

“One won’t hurt.” I said to myself and cracked open a can of Busch Light.

 It was like my tongue was injected with heroin. I knew it wasn’t good for the baby but what the hell? It just tasted so f--king good. One led to another and after the lat beer in the fridge I was sh*tfaced drunk.

“Wish mom could see me now”, as I puked into the toilet.

 At that point I don’t remember if I wasn’t remembering m baby, or just wasn’t caring. I had a terrible headache, it sounded like a never ending ring, and that’s when I realized I was in the ambulance. I had drunken so much I got alcohol poisoning.

The worst part was at the hospital. All I really remember is the doctors shoving tubes down my throat, making me puke even more. The pain was excruciating. I wish I could just pass out, the doctors told my mom that they were amazed I even lived. My alcohol level was sky high, they didn’t know if the baby would live or not either. That was the scary part; I actually forgot that I was pregnant. How could I be so stupid?

I’m laying in a hospital bed and al, I can think about is the baby. I still didn’t know what I was going to do; abortion is out of the question. So if it lives, I think I’m gonna keep it.

“Where’s my mom?”, I asked with a shiver.

“Honey I’m right here”, she said with tears streaming down her cheeks.

A while later we got the news we were waiting for, the baby had surprisingly lived. Even though I still felt like dying I didn’t care anymore. I was so focused on the baby. I was so happy that the baby lived, that everything was numb to me, the pain my mom, telling Justin, just everything.

I knew from that moment on I had taken too much advantage of this poor baby.

“I have to keep it”, I said to myself.

 This is gonna hard, but I can make it on my own. Always have, always will. My mind was made and no one could change it. I thought about trying to get a hold of Justin to tell him, but I figured it would be the same either way, so I just let it be. This is going to be the scariest thing I’ve ever done.

The moment I left that hospital I knew I had made the right decision about the baby. I was ready, ready to take this on and be a mom at fourteen. There is so much in life that a person my age has to look forward to, but having a baby isn’t supposed to be so soon. Some people would look at me and be disappointed, ashamed, maybe even astonished; but these are the cards I dealt to myself. I’m ready to start my new life, a life of being a young mom.

“Here I go”, I said;

 as I was leaving my youth further and further behind.